Boredom-reducing Uses for Common Office Tools

Are you stuck at a desk all day? Is your creativity stifled by poorly formatted document templates and restrictive company-mandated phone conversation techniques? Do you wish all your coworkers were dead, face-down in pools of their own blood, especially the woman two cubicles over who giggles incessantly when she talks on the phone? Don't worry, you can still have fun

How many paperclips can you swallow in one gulp? How many paperclips can you swallow before you have to go to the hospital? How many paperclips can you swallow before you are fired?
Set the date received stamp to a date in... the future! "Mr. Sandusky, here's a copy of our urban preteen demographic market research from... the future!"
If you tie enough phone cords together, can you lasso the nineteen-year-old accounting intern?
Is the human resources department's digital camera small enough to take home in your pocket?
Throwing a sand-weighted tape dispenser into a random cubicle at least thirty feet away is always good for a chuckle.
Coffee mugs usually hold liquids, but they can also hold solids!
When rock fights scissors, rock wins. When scissors fight unsuspecting coworker's thigh, you win!