Destination: Awesome
Early in the day, Shek ran short of filmy slots in his lectro-cam. Luckily, he spent 98 percent of the day in Texas, and thus had virtually nothing interesting to photograph anyway. Keep in mind that future images may be, uh, improvised, beginning onů

(Filmy SlotTM and ’Lectro-CamTM are registered trademarks of Sony Electronics.)

 

Day 4 – Texas – Seminole

Once you cross into Texas, the state preoccupies itself with patiently, clearly and endlessly explaining that things in Texas…well, let’s just say they’re a little different here. Dairy Queen? Texas stop sign. Hey, ever hear of “Northern Fried” catfish? Me neither! Texas toast, why that’s like French toast with all the faggot-ass beaten out of it. And did I mention everything’s bigger in Texas? Everything, from the size of the state to the number of square miles in the state, to the length of the border surrounding the state, is bigger in Texas.


Oh wait, I get it!

 


Don’t mess with the poultry, either.

Seagraves

“Y’all are in Texas now, boy. You git on to the drive-thru at Nothin’ Butt Smokes if’n y’all want yerself a pack a cigs. Yeah, we got jerky, but you ain’t gonna find no 7-11 out here. You gonna find you a Allsup’s, you want jerky. Boy, listen good now…”

 

Lubbock

Just off Malcolm X Boulevard, on the east side of this agricultural university town, lies the final resting place of Lubbock’s favorite exemplar of black culture: Buddy Holly. It is customary to leave a guitar pick on the marker, or a penny, since who has a guitar pick on them? Admire the statue of Holly just outside the music center downtown, read the Lubbock Ring of Fame (F. Lee Bailey, anyone?), then follow the signs to the site (“Buddy Holly This a Way!”) and keep off the grass. Now turn around, buy something in town, and keep it moving, Yankee.


“We-he-a-he-a-hell-a” soul brother.
 


“Don’t make me come down there,” am I right?

Snyder

There’s two kinds of food in Texas: Mexican and Tex-Mex. The difference is that if you’re looking for a Mexican restaurant, keep an eye out for a picture of a lazy, sleeping gaucho. Don’t worry, he is not so lazy that he will not get up to fix you a tostada, ha ha! If you’d rather have fajitas, the dancing habanero in a somrero is the mascot of choice. It takes a very long time to drive across Texas, and it is very, very interesting place.

 

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