Destination: Awesome
After two days of driving in Texas, Shek awoke to find himself...in Texas. Hey, did you know that the nation's hoteliers seem to be disproportionately extracted from South Asian heritage? What's up with that? On to...

 

Day 5 - Ft. Worth

Sure, this cow town has its share of untenable Texas claims ("The Original Mexican Food"), but its braggery isn't totally empty. Why, Ft. Worth boasts an art district known throughout the entire region as a mecca for creative people and museums and crap. If that ain't to your liking, you can mosey over to Sundance Square, downtown Ft. Worth's answer to the three bars they have in your local college town. Remember, if you find yourself dancing with someone and you're not for certain whether it's a man or a woman, you're probably dancing with a moman. So take precautions.


Are you a Ft. Worth man? (See sidebar)

Ft. Worth or Dallas?
Many people assume that since these two large cities are so close together, there must be no difference between them. The fact is, they couldn't be more different, and furthermore it's against Texas law to visit both. So click here to compare before you go.
 


Trust me, it's not a load of RoboCrap.

"No-Man's Land"

In between the metropolises of Ft. Worth and Dallas lies a stretch of wretched territory, 30 miles wide, into which no sane man will enter. Its deranged denizens would love nothing more than to lure you to their 'park,' (marked with its six flags) where for a fee of fifty dollars you may 'ride' a train that, after churning your guts into a pukish slurry, returns you to the exact same spot! Elsewhere a stadium, where thousands are said to gather, stands only to witness men mercilessly pounding balls with sticks. But on the bright side, you can see the real-life RoboCop's house. He'll invite you in for iced tea, but make sure not to jar loose faded memories of his life as 'Officer Murphy,' or you'll have a real Rogue-o-Cop on your hands.

 

Dallas

You won't find more love for our former president Kennedy or his beloved Camelot administration anywhere this side of Nantucket. Come to Dealey Plaza downtown and walk the very site of JFK's famous campaign swing. A nearby building hosts a multimedia exhibit of the day's seemingly pedestrian events, where you can find out the answer to the question everyone's been asking: whatever happened to President Kennedy? I didn't have time to go, so no spoilers!


Not if I see you first, ha ha!
 


Another charming souvenir.

Terrell/Gladewater

East Texas, man. Where else are you going to get "Boots, Liquor and Wine" all at the same time? Or maybe live in the 'Skyline' apartments, on the top (2nd) floor? Drive by the local nursing home, which still has their cartoon-figurine nativity scene up at the end of February, to experience just a taste of the crippling depression faced by the residents each day. A proud and hearty people, these East Texans, these...oh, thank God, I can see the state line.

 

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