Destination: Awesome
After a night in a Tennessee motel enjoyed at a 1000 percent anti-discount, Shek awoke with most of the state still stretching a long, long way before him. Fast facts: Tennessee is wider than it is tall, prettier than Kentucky, and hotter than a bag of urine resting on a coal-fired stove. So what's first on...
 

Day 7– Jackson!

Formerly known as "Looufton's Bende."

On his March from New Orleans to Washington in 1814, Andrew Jackson presented each town he passed through with a simple choice: change their name to his or he would burn it and sink it down to hell. This is why almost two-thousand hundred American cities are called "Jackson," and why the proud people of Sutter's Hostel, MS, Greegraw, VA and Flurstonsberg, TN are charcoal. This particular Jackson hosts the Casey Jones Museum, commemorating the famous conductor's nearby self-annihilating crash. Visitors climb aboard the popular Casey Jones Railway, hurtling over and over into the rear car of a freight train and splintering it to toothpicks.

Tennessee in the Popular Imagination


That's not all he smokes!

Everyone is familiar with the state’s favorite son, famed playwright Tennessee Williams, whose tragic melodramas of southern life prompted the state government to change their name from the original “West Crap.” But not everyone knows these other Tennessee cultural touchstones:

The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck: “The pacing of the adventure is good. You won't be bored watching it ...There's nothing in this film that would draw specific attention to it, or away from it. Produced to be shlock.” - L. Lion, IMDB.

Tennessee Johnson “Never heard of this film until yesterday ... not sure of the historical 100 % accuracy... never knew this was filmed ... Missed the first few minutes ... Not to be missed.” - olddiscs, IMDB.

Tenneesee Nights (aka Tennessee Waltz) “Not Good ... This is a very bad movie, not because the acting is bad or even the directing, the problem is that the script is horrible. It doesn't make any sense at all ... this movie is a complete shame.”
- vasseur, IMDB.

 

Hurricane Mills

Loretta Lynn's other hobby, filming off-Road ATV fatality videos..

Never mind how a city in the middle of a landlocked state gets named after a tropical storm, this is the home of country music star Loretta Lynn's Dude Ranch. Featuring tours of her plantation as well as a replica of her Kentucky girlhood home, curious onlookers tramp through a facsimile of the coal-miner's abode and hear Ms. Lynn narrate such interesting tidbits as "This is the kitchen, where my ma used to fix up a mess of vittles while Daddy beat the everloving shit out of me" and "Here's the front yard, where we kept the dogs, and everybody hear that? That's my Daddy, beating the everloving shit out of me."

 

Nashville

Nashville's famed 'Batman Building,' erected by local real-estate mogul George A. Batman.

Anyone who's seen Robert Altman's epic ensemble movie of the same name will know what to expect from the city itself: an unbearable number of boring, vaguely eccentric caricatures, a handful of dull, overwrought recitals of passionless country music, and if you're lucky you might get through it in under three hours. Perhaps the liveliest attraction is a tour of Conway Twitty's residence at Twitty City, where the big thrill is the possibility seeing the singer eating toast in his bathrobe.

 

Crossville

This building is probably in Crossville, I guess.

At the head of Tennessee's intriguing "Safety Corridor," in which extremely interesting astronomical traffic fines are levied, lies this...uh. Perhaps you've heard of The Great Smokey Mountains? Well, they are fairly nearby. Dollywood? Close, but not too close. This place is on the way to many of Tennessee's most famous attractions. It's...uh...it's really great. There are hotels.

 

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