Off On Your Own (Girl) - Al. B. Sure!

What does it take to be really sure of something in this life? Well, if you had an angelic falsetto and a smooth-love-rappin' speaking voice, you would be sure of everything. So sure that you would name yourself "Al B. Sure!" And you would record real smooth New Jack grooves like "Off On Your Own (Girl)." You also wouldn't be intimidated by a good-looking woman. You would dismiss her with such cutting wordplay as "What do you think, you're 'dope on rope'? Nope!"

That's right, Mr. Sure! This "girl" is not "dope" on a "rope" at all. In fact, she's so not dope on a rope that Al B. has the audacity to blow her off using not one but THREE different voices. The smooth falsetto, the raspy loverman voice, a mid-range "sexy" singing voice and, on top of that, the legendary Slick Rick comes in to rap for about 10 seconds, adding insult to injury by having the titular girl dissed by a one-eyed Englishman.

Another sweet touch in this song is some "heavy metal" guitar soloing that goes in and out of the backing track. Yet another great thing about this song is that Al B. Sure! plays both himself and his ex-girlfriend in the song. I think. I was a little confused at first, as both characters sing with a very high-pitched falsetto, but after about ten listens it became obvious that the person singing about sitting all alone with a broken heart is NOT the one laughing out loud at the person who dumped them. Or something. Anyway, get out your tapered-leg stonewashed jeans and enjoy this classic New Jack Swing groove from the golden year of 1988.

Mr. Zaret is a writer and performer living in New York. More of his writing can be found here. For upcoming performances, write to aaronandtonycomedy@hotmail.com